I'm not particularly funny, and anything involving a lot of typing makes me break out in a pre-RSI sweat. I never thought typing would become so much a part of life and now I find myself learing at people wishing I could touch-type like them. I'm probably going to end up with eye-strain as well from staring so hard at the keyboard trying to pick up my typing errors.
That's important, because being a real pedant, the price I pay is that people take great pleasure in pointing out my typing mistakes. I suppose they deserve their revenge because it is actually true, I'm a terrible pedant (and for those of you not familiar with the word, no, it's not the same as kiddie-fiddler! That's a pederast!). I don't think it's patronising, but people get so touchy about being corrected on their spelling and grammar and general lack of general knowledge.
At the age of 43, I'm wondering if I've finally discovered the reason I was put on this planet. To piss anyone under the age of 30 off by constantly pointing out the massive, gaping hole in their general knowledge.
Just the other day, I discovered that one of my colleagues didn't actually know that Judas betrayed Jesus.
The poor girl got confused and thought that it 'had something to do with that brother..................oh you know, the brother. What was his name?..................you know that one............Kane? The pedant in me wanted to slap the nose off her face. Not only for not knowing, but for not realising that it really was quite fundamental.
Now I'm not at all religious (although I do have moments), but honestly, it's pretty common-knowledge..............isn't it? I promised I wouldn't swear in this, but for fuck's sake, how can you not have picked up that piece of trivia at some point in your 25 years on the planet. And then to claim that there's nothing unusual about that is just shocking. It's a bit like laughing about the time Chandler did the Cher impression in the restaurant in front of Cher........................no, you fucking idiot. That wasn't Chandler, it was Jack.................different cult soap comedy! Call me an old fart, but at least have the decency to admit that there's a huge, massive, gaping hole in your basic knowledge. And yes, the earth is round!
Why is it that people (and not just kids) don't worry about general knowledge?
Maybe there really is no value in knowing the difference between mucus and strawberry jam, or what the capital of South Africa is. But whatever you do, don't draw attention to the fact.
If poor IdiotX (sorry, can't use her real name) hadn't called me a Judas, I would never have known that she didn't actually know who Judas was, or that she was devoid of the most basic general knowledge.
Just one word of warning.....................don't accept her invitation to breakfast, and don't let her book the plane tickets for your mediterranean mini-break!
